tlcorbinBill's Legacy and Contribution to Hillary's Campaign.
May 28th 2007 06:23
Category: No Category
It has been interesting to observe Bill Clinton defend his white house legacy. Really, about all I can remember about his term as president are the following notable items:
* Hillary was the 'man' behind the man, competing for his job and groupies.
* His inventive use of the female form as a 'humidor' for his, uh, cigar(s) is a classic.
* His pre-conference 'oral tune-ups and conditioning' before dealing with national issues is interesting.
* He willingness to 'risk it all' was borne out when he bravely proferred a radical new definition of oral sex as, non sex; politicians and high school teachers everywhere thank him for that particular tidbit, they are now emboldened to practice safe, non-sex, on or off their favorite school grounds regularly. (I'd have to say that kid-bits more closely defines their intended usage of tidbits).
* His example has emboldened our female pool of teachers to exploit this new definition, the nightly news carry many splendid offerings of their private lessons and personal touch for the benefit and higher education of their youthful charges.
* His pithy quote, "I did not have sex with that woman", is still full of pith and is now so wildly popular among screen writers that it is rapidly becoming a 'standard'.
* His strong stage presence, deep resonating voice, powerful facial profile and his presidential digit fingering the nation; truly, a surreal vision of presidential determination. Uh, which digit was he using?
* His bold use of the White house intern pool as his private brothel was awe inspiring.
* His courageous use of the military to cater his white house parties, rather than to defend this country and its southern borders is still bearing fruit.
*He boldly introduced the world to Mr. 'Pumkinhead', apparently a Monica moniker assigned to Bill's first and favorite play thing (still), whose discharge soiled the now famous blue dress of the woman he never had sex with, necessitating the public finger wave at the nation.
* His bold defense of his personhood with the unrestrained launching of his heat seeking moisture missile (a term coined by G Carlin); launched at a friendly interns rather than an ICBM at an our nations enemies still warms the cockles of this nation.
* His staunch refusal to use the truth, choosing instead to lie, deny, spin, and misdirect when confronted with his misdeeds, still leaves me misty eyed; what a stellar example of contemporary character and morality.
* His administration promised us the sun and the moon; well the son's we elected to serve in his administration kept their word and did in fact moon us.
Sadly, Bill did many good things while in office, but this stuff absolutely obscures those good works. When I think of him, all I see is an aging, bulbous nosed, over sexed phalli-phile, still using lies to promote his dark legacy as former president and trying to 'not have sex' with as many woman 'not named' Hillary as humanly possible. The new legacy standard? Hillary's husband may or may not help get her elected; but he certainly will keep us entertained.
* Hillary was the 'man' behind the man, competing for his job and groupies.
* His inventive use of the female form as a 'humidor' for his, uh, cigar(s) is a classic.
* His pre-conference 'oral tune-ups and conditioning' before dealing with national issues is interesting.
* He willingness to 'risk it all' was borne out when he bravely proferred a radical new definition of oral sex as, non sex; politicians and high school teachers everywhere thank him for that particular tidbit, they are now emboldened to practice safe, non-sex, on or off their favorite school grounds regularly. (I'd have to say that kid-bits more closely defines their intended usage of tidbits).
* His example has emboldened our female pool of teachers to exploit this new definition, the nightly news carry many splendid offerings of their private lessons and personal touch for the benefit and higher education of their youthful charges.
* His pithy quote, "I did not have sex with that woman", is still full of pith and is now so wildly popular among screen writers that it is rapidly becoming a 'standard'.
* His strong stage presence, deep resonating voice, powerful facial profile and his presidential digit fingering the nation; truly, a surreal vision of presidential determination. Uh, which digit was he using?
* His bold use of the White house intern pool as his private brothel was awe inspiring.
* His courageous use of the military to cater his white house parties, rather than to defend this country and its southern borders is still bearing fruit.
*He boldly introduced the world to Mr. 'Pumkinhead', apparently a Monica moniker assigned to Bill's first and favorite play thing (still), whose discharge soiled the now famous blue dress of the woman he never had sex with, necessitating the public finger wave at the nation.
* His bold defense of his personhood with the unrestrained launching of his heat seeking moisture missile (a term coined by G Carlin); launched at a friendly interns rather than an ICBM at an our nations enemies still warms the cockles of this nation.
* His staunch refusal to use the truth, choosing instead to lie, deny, spin, and misdirect when confronted with his misdeeds, still leaves me misty eyed; what a stellar example of contemporary character and morality.
* His administration promised us the sun and the moon; well the son's we elected to serve in his administration kept their word and did in fact moon us.
Sadly, Bill did many good things while in office, but this stuff absolutely obscures those good works. When I think of him, all I see is an aging, bulbous nosed, over sexed phalli-phile, still using lies to promote his dark legacy as former president and trying to 'not have sex' with as many woman 'not named' Hillary as humanly possible. The new legacy standard? Hillary's husband may or may not help get her elected; but he certainly will keep us entertained.
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