tlcorbin.........odd behavior realm, a list.
June 29th 2007 06:49
Category: No Category
Sometimes guys will hang around, and:
dig at fleas or other unseen bugs anytime the urge strikes,
wont eat anything touched by a vegetable,
scratch their ears and butts in public,
deal with their privates when the need proves over whelming,
can never locate car keys they were playing with last,
talk about nothing (sports, cars and fishing) for hours,
sleep on the forbidden couch with their feet in the air,
run to the window and look outside for no apparent reason,
sniff the air constantly and get excited,
gaze stupidly at a TV,
listen to talk radio and pants,
eat every thing you serve them in three or four bites,
never take the garbage out without making a mess,
growls at strangers at the door,
demonstrate affection by licking your face after having a drink,
stand in front of the refrigerator door whenever its open,
mark their territory whenever they feel insecure,
never miss an opportunity to attempt mating,
knocks furnishings everywhere chaseing kids through the house,
growls at the mere mention of your mother,
meets a new female and instantly stick their cold noses into a forbidden orifice,
share odiferous syntaxes without concern,
check their food supply before greeting anyone hanging around,
never lift the toilet seat,
thinks eye glasses are a chew toy,
humps any leg, any time and anywhere,
opens the refrigerator door when the phone rings,
roll in vile smelling substance to impress their mates,
rarely comes to bed clean,
doesnt get the concept of wiping its feet after playing in the mud,
smells musty when wet,
lifts its head and just stares blankly when spoken to,
howls like its being killed when given an injection,
disappears for days at a time and comes home at 3AM scratches at the door to be let in,
always has severe morning breath, even at night,
loves a good tussle and chase,
isnt safe to be left alone in a pet shop,
constantly pees on the floor of the house,
will stop in mid stride to marvel at his reflection in a shop window,
adores the smell of new tools,
has a hang dog look when caught doing something naughty,
leave huge messes everywhere they are hanging out,
have to run the neighborhood with their mates to sniff out the daily news,
scares your friends and neighbor with its sheer size,
are insanely attracted to bitches,
will chew the top off a can of beer,
is incapable of a friendly smile or a laugh on cue,
chews on the remote control,
eats all of the ice cream with its head in the container,
cant ride in a vehicle without and open window,
looses its focus when a hot female is around.
Does this list remind you of anyone? Like your boyfriend, husband, brother, buddy, dawg or your canine. We found striking similarities.
Raven is asking.
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
MS Paint Art
I realize now I've done rather well in life when I'd been berating myself with my failures.
Spills the garbage, you mean he remembers to put it out?
Some of the characteristics did sound a little familiar, but as I say, I've been lucky. Must thank God, someday.
katyzzz
Comment by tlcorbin-raginravensview
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Aren't you glad that we aren't neighbors? hahaha
Raven
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Ha ha ha ha. Bloody funny. And just a little bit true
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by David
Great list.
David ...
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
MS Paint Art
You'd better believe, and you're such a nice guy.
katyzzz
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
~laughing~ um yeah I noticed a few times I was nodding my head there!
ash
Comment by Mountain Fog
Infognito
I refuse to admit to any of the above in case I prejudice myself!!
However, rarely...can't remember who or when now that I think about it....have I laughed out loud about something someone has written, on the net particularly...you just did it to me tonight...and I am annoyed because it spoils my chance of being the net's 'best curmudgeon'!
Well, what made me larff???
"share odoriferous syntaxes without concern"
just loved that!
And in response to my response on zerotolerance:
"Odd, I don't recognize earth's jurisdiction over my water pistol either; I'll get my flack jacket out from storage...I may need it."
tee hee!
ok, enough frivolity..back to whinging...cya!
fog
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
I've done these ones:
Never take the garbage out without making a mess
Stand in front of the refrigerator door whenever its open
Doesnt get the concept of wiping its feet after playing in the mud
Lifts its head and just stares blankly when spoken to
Isnt safe to be left alone in a pet shop
Comment by tlcorbin-raginravensview
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
I know you love a good list, hope you didn't see to much of anyone you know in it.
Katyzzz,
Was it the howling issue?
Ash,
Yeah, I did a lot of that myself.
fog,
Wow, I'm pleased you were entertained. I could see myself exposed throughout that whole list. And I think I could double the list without much effort.
Earth's jurisdiction over anything is an oxymoron, especially when it comes to my water pistol.
All right curmudgeon, get back to work. hahaha.
Tracy,
Exactly my point; isn't it wickedly wonderful to realize you aren't totally normal? I love it.
ALL,
I couldn't help myself, I injected a few more items throughout the list.
Your pithy comments are always a delight to me; those truly full of pith, leave me in stitches. Thank you one and all for visiting.
Raven
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
That's my morning ponder topic.....
Comment by tlcorbin-raginravensview
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Wow, this is going to keep me awake all night pondering..
Raven