Soapys Query and a Comment
July 10th 2008 22:24
Category: View of the World Outside
Up north between somewhere and nowhere, an old sourdough Soapy called his attorney and asked, "Is it true theys suin them t'bacco companies fer lying an for causin people to git cancer ?"
"Yes, Soapy it sure is true," responded the lawyer.
"And now someone is suin them fast food restaurants fer
makin them fat an cloggin up their arteries with all them burgers
an fries, is that true also?”
"Ah, . . . yup, it sure is, Soapy."
"And that lady sued McDonalds for millions when she was burned
after they give her that hot coffee that she ordered?"
"Yep, you've got it."
"And that football player sued that university when he
gradiated and still couldn’t read?"
"That’s right," said the lawyer.
"Why the hell are you asking?" asked the lawyer.
"Well," drawled Soapy, " I was thinkin . ..'en what I want to know is, kin I sue Jack Daniel's fer all them ugly bush women I slept with?"
"Only if they don't bark Soapy . . ." said his attorney.
"Yes, Soapy it sure is true," responded the lawyer.
"And now someone is suin them fast food restaurants fer
makin them fat an cloggin up their arteries with all them burgers
an fries, is that true also?”
"Ah, . . . yup, it sure is, Soapy."
"And that lady sued McDonalds for millions when she was burned
after they give her that hot coffee that she ordered?"
"Yep, you've got it."
"And that football player sued that university when he
gradiated and still couldn’t read?"
"That’s right," said the lawyer.
"Why the hell are you asking?" asked the lawyer.
"Well," drawled Soapy, " I was thinkin . ..'en what I want to know is, kin I sue Jack Daniel's fer all them ugly bush women I slept with?"
"Only if they don't bark Soapy . . ." said his attorney.
Alaskan humor is an odd thing, but issues are causing problems; land locked polar bears, the melting tundra, bears aren't hibernating like they should, birds aren't migrating on schedule, several species of salmon didn't appear in the numbers that they usually do, Halibut are scarce, and herring are being over fished. Food costs and fuel are sky rocketing and fresh foods aren't raised locally. So, we need humor to carry us through, it's going to get worse. Until we works things out for ourselves.
How are things down your way?
Raven
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Comment by Damo
It is always about their six life.
They also tell joke about Tasmanians and inbreeding.
But New Zealanders tell jokes about Australians.
Or this one:
A man want to the doctor and said that he wanted to become Irish.
The doctor said "well that is easy we just remove half the brain. I'll book you in for the operation."
When the man woke up the doctor told him there was a complication. "We accidentally removed you whole brain, so I am not sure what will happen. Can you hear me?
The sat up and smiled. "No worries cobber, I feel bonza. Hand me a stubby of piss will ya?"
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Did you hear about that dumb Irish who built a bridge across the Nullabor Plain?
They had to take it down. The Auzzies kept trying to catch fish off it.
As for the rest, our seasons are screwed. Luckily they were never set in stone anyway. Australia is fully adaptable. BUT I still find it strange they drink recycled water in London, where if it doesnt rain for a week they scream "DROUGHT!!" and our country is 95% desert....Yet we want crystal clean water to wash our friggin clothes!
See what Damos joke was referring to?
Comment by Damo
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
Alaska in buried under mountains of snow and ice, and we have a freshwater problems. The high turbidity is a technical problem we have to deal with to provide ourselves with clean clear water. I wonder if they pan out the gold from the residue?
That laundry thing, it a problem here too, washing clothes in saltwater just doesn't do it for us.
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip