tlcorbinToothaches and Lace.
June 19th 2007 23:44
Category: No Category
Just a toothace my butt! There's a conspiracy afoot.
Wowch! For three or four miserable, gut wrenching days and sleepless nights, I have been suffering from the ravaging effects of the toothache from hell. It has gotten so bad that my jaw itches, my nerves are tingling, my gums are so swollen that it is forcing that demonic tooth far enough above its neighbors that I can't close my mouth and a dentist won't do anything until these symptoms subside. I am ready to call in an exorcist, but I can't do that just yet, because I need that fella to either bless or exorcise dinner when it's my turn to cook, so that option isn't really viable.
The spring season in Alaska is the villain. It's staying light enough outside right now, that at 3 AM local time I was reading a book without the need of an extra light source. I've triple layered the curtains over my bedroom windows and somehow the @#$%$&! glowing ambiance creeps into the room. It's absolutely driving me bonkers. And, worse the impact on the surrounding plant life has been catastrophic.
The trees are reacting to spring with an unabashed exuberance that has no equal; the sap in their veins has risen right along with their collective libido, which has gone right off the charts. All night and all day long you can see them rustling and swaying in the wind. It's a disgusting tree mating ritual that should be censored, it's an assault against common moral decency and the Alaskan way of life. Couple all of that sighing and the moaning, to the obscene bough touching and fondling with such reckless abandon and you have a recipe for moral anarchy in the forest. Who knew nature was such a provocateur.
This rare picture captures a wood sprite enciting forest occupants to pollenate.
So, what does that have to do with my toothache? Everything! We are keeping our doors and windows open right now, because at 60 degrees, it's a furnace indoors and cooler outdoors. It's another element that works against us and our attempts to get any meaningful restful sleep. With the windows open, we get a cross breeze in our bedroom and that is a very good thing. The downside is that breeze carries pollen with it, which gets into or onto your furnishings, clothing, hair and most importantly into your unsuspecting sinus cavities.
Therein lays the problem; pollen and sinus cavities, a vile combination. When my sinuses get inflamed, my inner ears start to ache and plug up, my throat swells nearly shut, and all of these elements in this chain of circumstances eventually pull together and affect my teeth somehow. Dunno how, but I'll puzzle over that question later.
So, what's the common connection between these various elements? Well, after we get up in the morning and go outside on the deck to scratch and relieve internal pressure; there is usually a substantial layer of yellow pollen coating everything. Its spring, the time of renewal, and the trees along with other flora and fauna have gone berserk. They're mating with such frenzy that I find myself living in a virtual sea of tree sperm. A couple of deep breaths outside and you can intake a year's supply of local pollutants. What a joy.
It turns out that the source of my toothache may be the result of unfettered and wanton coupling occurring among the trees in the forest surrounding me. What I'd like to know is this: How do they keep it going for two months straight? Damn, now I'm suffering tree envy, those Blue Spruces are really hot.
Toothaches and Lace? Why that title: Because I can.
Wowch! For three or four miserable, gut wrenching days and sleepless nights, I have been suffering from the ravaging effects of the toothache from hell. It has gotten so bad that my jaw itches, my nerves are tingling, my gums are so swollen that it is forcing that demonic tooth far enough above its neighbors that I can't close my mouth and a dentist won't do anything until these symptoms subside. I am ready to call in an exorcist, but I can't do that just yet, because I need that fella to either bless or exorcise dinner when it's my turn to cook, so that option isn't really viable.
The spring season in Alaska is the villain. It's staying light enough outside right now, that at 3 AM local time I was reading a book without the need of an extra light source. I've triple layered the curtains over my bedroom windows and somehow the @#$%$&! glowing ambiance creeps into the room. It's absolutely driving me bonkers. And, worse the impact on the surrounding plant life has been catastrophic.
The trees are reacting to spring with an unabashed exuberance that has no equal; the sap in their veins has risen right along with their collective libido, which has gone right off the charts. All night and all day long you can see them rustling and swaying in the wind. It's a disgusting tree mating ritual that should be censored, it's an assault against common moral decency and the Alaskan way of life. Couple all of that sighing and the moaning, to the obscene bough touching and fondling with such reckless abandon and you have a recipe for moral anarchy in the forest. Who knew nature was such a provocateur.
This rare picture captures a wood sprite enciting forest occupants to pollenate.
So, what does that have to do with my toothache? Everything! We are keeping our doors and windows open right now, because at 60 degrees, it's a furnace indoors and cooler outdoors. It's another element that works against us and our attempts to get any meaningful restful sleep. With the windows open, we get a cross breeze in our bedroom and that is a very good thing. The downside is that breeze carries pollen with it, which gets into or onto your furnishings, clothing, hair and most importantly into your unsuspecting sinus cavities.
Therein lays the problem; pollen and sinus cavities, a vile combination. When my sinuses get inflamed, my inner ears start to ache and plug up, my throat swells nearly shut, and all of these elements in this chain of circumstances eventually pull together and affect my teeth somehow. Dunno how, but I'll puzzle over that question later.
So, what's the common connection between these various elements? Well, after we get up in the morning and go outside on the deck to scratch and relieve internal pressure; there is usually a substantial layer of yellow pollen coating everything. Its spring, the time of renewal, and the trees along with other flora and fauna have gone berserk. They're mating with such frenzy that I find myself living in a virtual sea of tree sperm. A couple of deep breaths outside and you can intake a year's supply of local pollutants. What a joy.
It turns out that the source of my toothache may be the result of unfettered and wanton coupling occurring among the trees in the forest surrounding me. What I'd like to know is this: How do they keep it going for two months straight? Damn, now I'm suffering tree envy, those Blue Spruces are really hot.
Toothaches and Lace? Why that title: Because I can.
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Comment by David
Comment by tlcorbin-raginravensview
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
It's always good to have your work appreciated.
Comment by James Rickard
unlucky_ fishermen.com
Angling Fish
Comment by tlcorbin-raginravensview
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Exactly.
Title and images, I am learning what works.
Raven
Comment by Fingertip Titans Unite
Idiots Among Us
Fingertip Titans
Toothaches and Lace. Well, it get's peoples attention. I think the whole "People can't have sex in public but trees can" thing is a blatant case of discrimination in censorship. Like Paris Flashing her Naughty Parts to the cameras, and enticing her friends to do the same. What would the Media's reaction be if, say, Denzel Washington had done the same thing? or Rosie Odonnell? Who gets to decide who can put their privates on public display? Freedom of the Pantiless, I say. If the trees can do it, so can I!!!
Good on ya.
susan
Comment by tlcorbin-raginravensview
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
I enjoyed my soirée into Fingertip Titans land.
Thank you for visiting and commenting; and I fully support your right to bare yourself in public; shall I notify the media?
Support your local chapter of the, "Freedom of the Pantiless Coalition Party in 2008". There's a bumper sticker waiting to happen.
Rosie O, nude and in public? My cookies are going to launch, ...equal rights with trees for Rosie O, ..not.
Raven