tlcorbinWhat's My Weirdest Date? Well, since you asked..
November 29th 2007 04:45
Category: No Category
Hmmm, that's an easy one; I was married at 19, to the young (17year old) first love of my life and we were into seriously partying down.
On one very bizarre occasion, we had gone out to a party, as a couple, a married couple. It was a typical, military family based bash, that involved some serious drinking; power drinking as only the young and dumb would attempt. And, inexplicably the result of some brain fart or other psychotic meltdown episode, I foolishly and unfortunately, asked my wife out on a date thinking she was a very hot stranger, and in her drunken stupor not recognizing me, she agreed to it. Oh joy, joy, joy, little did I realize how close doom was at that time.
To set the scene, bear in mind the following; at that point in time we had been married for only a few months and were still getting used to each other, and the booze river was flowing free and mightily. And honestly, we were really not the experienced drinkers we perceived ourselves to be; a reality that manifested it's horrifically ugly little head shortly after we'd crossed the threshold into wacko land.
We drank so much at the party that we literally forgot who we were and what our relationship was to each other; it was at that pivotal point during the evening when I slurred the fateful words-something that was unequivocally lascivious and invited her out, she accepted and off we stumbled into the night with purpose of sorts. The premise of the night having been well established, hoooo wahhhh, I knew clear to the bone that someone was going to get lucky this starry night.
Wow, we had a salacious drunken ball. We had dinner, somewhere? We went butt bumpin boogie rompin and as I said, she looked like a minx in search of..something, and did I mention she was hot, hot, hot. We were sucking face like high school students in study hall and wow, her tongue was massaging my tonsils (removed years earlier) so deeply that I thought it was going to require surgery to extract.
Faces red and flushed, many around us were having the same trouble breathing I was experiencing, our bodies became locked in a writhing embrace, oblivious to all things rational. We had sojourned deeply and completely into that exotic jungle of exhibition land with all protuberances in a highly charged state, paralleling that of our breathless audience.
Later after some sadistic moralistic prude pried us apart; we took a breath and broke from our serious groping whereupon I managed to gasp out an invite, something that amounted to a plea; please save my sanity, spend the night and lets root around each other like sexually deranged mudd pups, she immediately acquiesced in a very unladylike manner. We were out of that place so fast, it was ten minutes before our shadows caught up with us at the infamous hotel d' fleabag.
Somehow, we got to the afore mentioned hotel and checked into a room; everything after that is way to mature and just plain wrong to describe in public. Yup, right, she could be reading along with the rest of you folks. As the balance of the night played out, it rocked several innocents world and the screaming took out windows for several rooms; at some point in the evening someone experienced severe cramping while in the throes of passion. He shall remain nameless. However the stories of cross dressing clowns, circus performers, zoo animals and extra terrestrials were never really substantiated.
The culminating episode of that sordid event was how angry she became the next morning, when, while still under the influence of a horrific hang around, I completely lost my remaining braincells and foolishly demonstrated that fact by asking her: How come you came home with me so easily?
Surprisingly, we didn't survive our first year of marriage, but our friendship did last 40 years past the incident, and yes, she still gets steamed if anyone brings up, 'the date', not that I shared all of the details with our son or anything. He's a bit touchy about the subject.
And it's likely that I won't share all of my past dating history with Tisha, we have our own unique dating experiences that are painfully private.
Is this strange enough? Raven
On one very bizarre occasion, we had gone out to a party, as a couple, a married couple. It was a typical, military family based bash, that involved some serious drinking; power drinking as only the young and dumb would attempt. And, inexplicably the result of some brain fart or other psychotic meltdown episode, I foolishly and unfortunately, asked my wife out on a date thinking she was a very hot stranger, and in her drunken stupor not recognizing me, she agreed to it. Oh joy, joy, joy, little did I realize how close doom was at that time.
To set the scene, bear in mind the following; at that point in time we had been married for only a few months and were still getting used to each other, and the booze river was flowing free and mightily. And honestly, we were really not the experienced drinkers we perceived ourselves to be; a reality that manifested it's horrifically ugly little head shortly after we'd crossed the threshold into wacko land.
We drank so much at the party that we literally forgot who we were and what our relationship was to each other; it was at that pivotal point during the evening when I slurred the fateful words-something that was unequivocally lascivious and invited her out, she accepted and off we stumbled into the night with purpose of sorts. The premise of the night having been well established, hoooo wahhhh, I knew clear to the bone that someone was going to get lucky this starry night.
Wow, we had a salacious drunken ball. We had dinner, somewhere? We went butt bumpin boogie rompin and as I said, she looked like a minx in search of..something, and did I mention she was hot, hot, hot. We were sucking face like high school students in study hall and wow, her tongue was massaging my tonsils (removed years earlier) so deeply that I thought it was going to require surgery to extract.
Faces red and flushed, many around us were having the same trouble breathing I was experiencing, our bodies became locked in a writhing embrace, oblivious to all things rational. We had sojourned deeply and completely into that exotic jungle of exhibition land with all protuberances in a highly charged state, paralleling that of our breathless audience.
Later after some sadistic moralistic prude pried us apart; we took a breath and broke from our serious groping whereupon I managed to gasp out an invite, something that amounted to a plea; please save my sanity, spend the night and lets root around each other like sexually deranged mudd pups, she immediately acquiesced in a very unladylike manner. We were out of that place so fast, it was ten minutes before our shadows caught up with us at the infamous hotel d' fleabag.
Somehow, we got to the afore mentioned hotel and checked into a room; everything after that is way to mature and just plain wrong to describe in public. Yup, right, she could be reading along with the rest of you folks. As the balance of the night played out, it rocked several innocents world and the screaming took out windows for several rooms; at some point in the evening someone experienced severe cramping while in the throes of passion. He shall remain nameless. However the stories of cross dressing clowns, circus performers, zoo animals and extra terrestrials were never really substantiated.
The culminating episode of that sordid event was how angry she became the next morning, when, while still under the influence of a horrific hang around, I completely lost my remaining braincells and foolishly demonstrated that fact by asking her: How come you came home with me so easily?
Surprisingly, we didn't survive our first year of marriage, but our friendship did last 40 years past the incident, and yes, she still gets steamed if anyone brings up, 'the date', not that I shared all of the details with our son or anything. He's a bit touchy about the subject.
And it's likely that I won't share all of my past dating history with Tisha, we have our own unique dating experiences that are painfully private.
Is this strange enough? Raven
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Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
That's a great yarn!
Reminds me a little of the quandary Rupert Holmes and his Pina Colada song had so many scratching their heads.
"Was it wrong to advertise or was it wrong to answer".
Entertaining exploit.
Cheers
MNG
Comment by Mountain Fog
Infognito
The title of your semi-autobiographical movie....can hardly wait...oh...and you look quite fetching in the dress, in that photo, but, I think the other 'girl' with you, might actually be male....sorry...
very funny story
cheers
fog
Comment by tlcorbin-raginravensview
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
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Alaska Chronicle
It remains what it was; a blank that others had to fill-in for us, or else, I for one wouldn't have had any knowledge of the incident.
Hey fog, you want the lead in the initial film, it's sequel or prequel? The dress was borrowed possibly from that other, uh ...person; I couldn't hold out long enough for the thong.
Thank you both for visiting. Raven
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
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Congrats on the early marriage, seems you were well intentioned if none too mature, at least you lived to tell the tale.
Oh, of course I believe you and if you're giving out bit parts, please include me, with appropriate rates, of course, no, sorry, I do not do nude scenes, don't want everyone to get jealous.
At least in this one you're not s...ing everywhere.
katyzzz...sleep well. Sounds like you do well with nightmares.
Comment by tlcorbin-raginravensview
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Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
I dont think Ive ever been on a 'date' but the night before I met Kman I found myself in a graveyard with a vampire look alike....And he had a body like a gargoyle....If you know what I mean!
Strange enough?
Comment by tlcorbin
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A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle