tlcorbinWhen girls don't put out!!
June 26th 2007 22:46
Category: No Category
This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
Alright girls. Repost this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, repost it.
Men, repost this because you have balls.
That was easy. My manhood is intact, I have responded to the challenge. Have you?
Raven
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Comment by katyzzz
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Those two deserve each other, but you had me in absolute stitches, it's all about the barter system really.
Next time be so crass as to say.
Make love to me tonight my darling angel and that'll make me feel so good I'll take you to the local op shop where we can pick up a bargain or two.
Being a good Christian, she's bound to accept, but if she's Catholic, watch out or there'll be another kid on the way.
katyzzz
Comment by tlcorbin-raginravensview
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Your comments are always fun for me to answer, keep up the great work.
OK, so this thing has been stretched to the limit of reason and beyond the 'balls' demarcation line.
Is this crass enough?
My wife barters, I beg. She knows that she has everything I desire or covet: she owns half of our assets and controls the rest. Hahaha...barter? ..oooooh that's rich.
As a professed Christian Jew spiritualist and former Sufi Druid warrior I think I'm protected against all things Catholic. But my wife is Buhdist, I'm doomed.
But I do love kids; they're really handi for fetching sandwiches, cold sodas and walking the geese.
Raven
Comment by James Rickard
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Great post! Great comments. It all made my day!
Comment by Cibbuano
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kids fetching sandwiches? Now that's something I can get down with!
Comment by tlcorbin-raginravensview
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I pulled TV remote duty for years as a kid; I think it's a form of child abuse-my parents were incessant channel surfers.
Cibbuano,
Between my TV remote, sandwich and soda-beer-coffee fetching duties at home as I kid , I was 25 years old before I could break the habit of jumping up and running to stand in front of an open refrigerator during commercials.
It's awkward when the TV is on during foreplay.
Raven
Comment by Ash
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I have heard this one before and I laughed myself silly. I could just imagine this unfolding before my very eyes,,,, and being oh so thankful that I had met a man who would challenge me!
There is always something appealing about the man who will be difficult, the man who will challenge and have a huge sense of humour.... just like this!
Great post!
Comment by tlcorbin-raginravensview
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Whoa! You just ignited an epiphany's blaze internally and solved the mystery of why my wife hangs out with me, all in one fell swoop. Thank you.
Drop bye anytime.
Raven
Comment by DuskDevi
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Your manhood isn't the only thing that's intact.
Your warped and wonderful sense of humour too but it isn't only intact...it's in tact.
Excellent!
Be well Raven
DuskDevi
ps. Cibbuano...why do you think I have 5?...and one's a chef....
Comment by tlcorbin-raginravensview
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Why thank for noticing my tact, usually I try not to expose it in public when children are around.
Great to have you pop in.
Raven
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Comment by Kleonaptra
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Complex one for me - Im male trapped in a female body. I definitely have an imbalance somewhere.....Kmans usually the one saying "Cant we just cuddle? PLEEEASSSE!"
All foreplay is boring. Get to the good stuff or I'll be so bored I will fall asleep.
Comment by tlcorbin
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I had a girlfriend long ago, who made the following pithy remark once after I got home, had sex with her for 5 out of 6 falls, whereupon she said, "..why didn't you tell me you don't like sex?" I still haven't figured out a response to that one (well, heh, an answer I can use on a public forum anyway). So, we live our lives the best we can, and love our little foibles because they make us who we are. Raven